Trees and More
Last Saturday we went and got our tree at our favorite tiny little tree farm in the foothills. On Sunday, we decorated the tree with all the wooden and cloth kid-friendly ornaments I have been acquiring for years. Andy and Juliana loved decorating the tree and have added 'make the house pretty' to their daily list of that for which they are thankful.
We don't currently have a working audio system in the house (long story) so we were decorating without music. This seems just wrong and I commented upon it. Juliana then started singing "Jesus loves me". What better music could I wish for?
We did the letter "B" last week:
"Ball. Banana. Bunnies. Bread. Breakfast. Baby." I said.
"Mama doesn't like babies," Andy replied.
"Yes I do! Why do you think that?"
"Why did you give me to the detskydom (orphanage)?"
All this time he has thought I parked him there for six years because I didn't like babies. The amazing thing is that he 'welcomed me back' with open arms and heart. After I explained that I was a new Mama on the scene he said it was very sad that we had had to wait so long. "I needed you," he said. "I was a sad baby. I needed you no bolshoy padashdi (big wait)."
I'm sure the school can do a more efficient job of teaching him his letters, but if I let them do it all, I'd miss conversations like that one.
20 comments:
Great picture. Good call on the homeschooling. There is lots of time later for other types of schooling if you choose. First things first.
Serena
That must have been so sad to hear that he thought it was you that abandoned them. At the same time how wonderful that they thought you have always been their mother and how touching that you were welcomed you with open arms- no resentment or anger. It is so interesting that the children know they are missing a mother even when no one tells them. Thank you for posting that!
OMG - The thoughts that go through their little heads astound me. Its such a good thing that they are talking about it and that you are there to lovingly explain and reassure them that they are now home forever. What a priceless moment that must have been, for both of you!
Suzanne-
Oh that brought tears to my eyes what he said about babies and you! Oh my word. What a precious boy. I'm so glad your family has such great open loving communication. You are all such a blessing to each other. Thank you for sharing that story.
From the looks of it, we all have about the same amount of snow? We still have some in our yard. Last Thursday, the first day our kids could go back to school (2 hrs late at that), I went to Target in Lk Stevens. There were snow drifts up to the top of my leg!!
Sheesh! So lovely & beautiful isn't it... ;o)
-Alison
What a beautiful photo. They all look so happy!
Your story made me smile. Just to know that Andy loves you so much he can "forgive" you. I'm glad that he now has the story straight. You are one good Mama, Mrs.
Oh my goodness. I never thought that the kids might think that. How horrible. I'm so glad he was home with you so you could straighten his thoughts out a little. Wow!
wow, that proves, you never know what is really going on in the mind of a child.
What a conversation! Oh, the mind of a child...I can only imagine what you must have felt when you heard him say that.
What a great story. I'm glad he so willing talked to you about it.
The kids look so happy and at home.
Oh Suzanne, what a story. Bless him. And I am so glad you got to explain to him. It's wonderful you are teaching them.
What a sweet and heart breaking story. I actually think it is good he is aware he was in need of a mama, that you filled that void and that he can talk about it in his new language. I don't think it is surprising that he confused his first mama with you - it shows that he has completely accepted you into that role and transfered his need to you. Some day the anger may get aimed at you too. It is a good good sign that he is talking it through already.
How lovely that you went to pick out your tree all together. Last year you must have been dreaming of this! Happy Happy Joy Joy!
So poignant!
from the Auntie Rubylu
so poignant! from Auntie Rubylu who doesn't remember if she ever got a user name or password or not.
I was just thinking about that! I wondered if an older adopted child would think his new Mom is the one who left him in the detsky dom to begin with and how that would be confusing. Its so funny that you posted that. I often think of scenarios that may come up once we begin telling livi her story.. thanks for sharing.
lauri
What a lovely blog you have here. Just wanted to add my compliments.
My kids have made similar comments about us putting them in the orphanage as babies and then waiting a long time to pick them up. And Vika even has memories of their Russian Mama. It is so interesting to see how their young minds try to make sense of the whole orphanage/adoption thing. I'm glad he forgave you despite the imagined abandonment.
Oh my goodness. It never occurred to me that a child might think that. But, of course, it makes perfect sense. The boy I hosted lived with his birth family until he was 6, so his understanding was obviously clearer. We even talked about his birth family.
Love the pic, how happy your little precious ones are. What a touching story it is amazing what goes thru their little minds.
The photo is adorable!!! Cute cute cute!
Hi! I love your blog! I hope to be in the phase you are in soon. I just started my blog. We are adopting two siblings from Belgorod Russia. I am hoping you can email me: mlhinkley@yahoo.com, as I would like to make my blog do some of the things that yours does. Thank you! Lisa H.
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