The New Deal
So, I know I may be a bit stricter than most, but it is really important to me that our children have decent table manners. Their previous care-giver felt the same apparently, as the children tell us that she constantly reminded them to hold their forks nicely. Well, I am tired of constantly reminding and would like for the kids to remember this -- and a few other things (swallow before talking, keep your fingers out of your plate) -- on their own.
Christmas brought us a lot of candy which has been stashed into labeled ziplock bags and dispensed in wee portions. The bags have joined us at the table and are wonderful. Each time someone slips in one of the three key areas, one of their pieces of candy leaves their bag and arrives in their sibling's bag. It is amazing. Andy used to need umpteen fork reminders per meal; tonight he needed none.
I think that helping Andy build an internal monitor of behavior is one of the hardest parts. He has before never needed internal control, as his previous environment provided plenty of external control. He frankly states that he shouldn't have to remember things as that is my job to remind him. When candy is on the line, however, he gets motivated.
(!!)
6 comments:
Teaching dinnertime manners is challenging for me too. Staying in one's chair is particularly hard for Buddy Boy, at four years old. I like your idea of portioning out the candy as rewards, but I don't think I would take it away from one and put it in the sibling's bag. That might set up a rivalry that will have a negative flow. I might have a treat jar somewhere out of reach for the penalty stash so that the "good" child isn't the target of anger and resentment. Just a thought. You are doing great and are right on track with the goal of instilling internal, self-motivated controls.
Brilliant! It must be so much harder to teach those things to older children who haven't had to learn them before. Do you find that you have to pick your battles? Or are you trying to tackle everything from the get go?
Mighty creative my dear!
Hmmm - that's one idea to keep for future use!
You are quite clever. Please don't ever remove your blog, or at least not for the next 10 years or so, because I may need to refer back to it often. Very very clever!
Reward and punishment is very important. Good manners are also. Keep up the good work.
Post a Comment