Reading!

"The pig sat in the mud" thus readeth Andy, home six months. He can also (slowly) make his way unassisted through Hop on Pop!

Sneaky Mom

Andy is trying to learn to read and he is very impatient with the phonics. La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu: he could not care less. He gives up easily and is not interested. Juliana, on the other hand, is very keen on reading.

Sneaky and devious mom that I am, I told them they could watch VeggieTales as soon as Juliana learns five flashcards. Andy is in there industriously teaching her La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu. I am doing my work and snickering up my sleeve.

Ketchup and Peanut Butter have saved my sanity.

Because the discipline in the children’s previous life was so harsh, it has been quite a challenge to come up with strategies that are motivating to the children.

Little chair?
No sweat.

Swat?
No biggie.

Loss of toys?
Oh well.

Spoonful of ketchup?
Oh NO! Anything but that!

About two weeks ago Andy appeared to have decided that there was nothing that we would throw at him that he could not handle, and all sorts of mischief ensued. The most startling was persistent and dramatic chewing-with-mouth-wide open. He never used to do this and was now doing it all the time. We would remind him and he would say okay and then do it again the very next bite. It was looking deliberate. Then ketchup occurred to me.

“Andy, would you like a spoonful of ketchup?”
“No, thank you! Ick!”
“Next time I see your food as you chew, I’ll bring you a spoonful.”
(mouth snaps shut for chewing and remains closed)

For Juliana, peanut butter does the same job. I have a friend who uses vinegar.

This morning I saw Andy lift his arm to hit his sister and then stop.
“Andy, what helped you remember to not hit?”
“I don’t want ketchup.”

So, Andy and I were driving in to see my Dad the other day and we were talking about the ketchup and how good it has been at helping Andy remember. He wanted to know if Grandpa knew about the ketchup. Yes. Andy did not like this. He fussed about it quite a bit.

“I’m angry you told Grandpa my secrets.” he said.
“Are you angry that I told him about the ketchup? Or that I told him that you had not-nice behavior?”
“Not-nice behavior.”
“Are you afraid that Grandpa won’t like you if he knows about your not-nice behavior?”
“Yes.”

I pull the car over.

“Andy, this is what is so cool about having a family. Families can know all your nice parts and all your not nice parts and still love you. Grandpa knows all my nice parts and all my not nice parts and he still loves me. That’s what families do. It’s really lovely.”
“Oh.”
“That’s what Jesus does too. He loves us even though we have nice parts and not nice parts. He’s part of our family.”
“Oh”
“Did you know that families love that way?”
“No”
“So Grandpa can know about your good days and about your bad days and he just loves you big time.”
(quiet)
“What do you think?”
“It’s okay to tell Grandpa.”

Kitty Treats

The kids recently told me that when they first got to our house they snuck pieces of kitty food and ate it. They apparently ran to the bathroom to spit it out. In the first few days they didn't see the kitties at all, so the little bowls of food around the house had looked like people-snacks to them. Blech.

Mupponauts

I've discovered that DVDs and laptops are the best thing ever if, for example, you need to take your children with you to your staff meeting or to your father's nursing home. Whilst watching Muppets in Space yesterday, Andy was surprised to hear Russian spoken. The English-speaking muppets go to space to find that some other muppets are already there. And what language do these other first-in-space mupponauts speak? Russian of course.

Fifth Disease

My heavens, there is so much that a Mama needs to know. This week I learned about the Fifth Disease, a common rash of childhood that Andy has brought to our attention. He is not ill, in that he feels fine and is not running a fever, but the rash on his face is not cute.

Adventures Digest

the very condensed version of our lives

• Jamie came through his medical procedure that I am not allowed to blog about just fine.
• Juliana started her "Gotta Sing, Gotta Dance" class and was the happiest little pink dance-class girl ever.
• Andy and Juliana got to spend the night over the weekend at their cousins. They had a blast and stayed up far too late. I can't scold, as this is exactly what I did with these cousins' mama when we were little girls.
  
• I've joined a Non-Performing Ballet class for grown-ups. This is part of my preemptive mental health plan. Dad's accident + Seasonal Affective Disorder + Jamie's Unmentionable Medical Concern + The Practical Reality of Two New Kids = Risk of Depression, so I am trying to get ahead of it before it gets ahead of me.

The New Deal

So, I know I may be a bit stricter than most, but it is really important to me that our children have decent table manners. Their previous care-giver felt the same apparently, as the children tell us that she constantly reminded them to hold their forks nicely. Well, I am tired of constantly reminding and would like for the kids to remember this -- and a few other things (swallow before talking, keep your fingers out of your plate) -- on their own.

Christmas brought us a lot of candy which has been stashed into labeled ziplock bags and dispensed in wee portions. The bags have joined us at the table and are wonderful. Each time someone slips in one of the three key areas, one of their pieces of candy leaves their bag and arrives in their sibling's bag. It is amazing. Andy used to need umpteen fork reminders per meal; tonight he needed none.

I think that helping Andy build an internal monitor of behavior is one of the hardest parts. He has before never needed internal control, as his previous environment provided plenty of external control. He frankly states that he shouldn't have to remember things as that is my job to remind him. When candy is on the line, however, he gets motivated.

Found Gum

(this is an old post that somehow got saved as a draft rather than actually posted. I'll post it now as I have nothing else to say on this blog. All my energies are with my Dad right now.)

Someone with whom I share a home, the same someone that I usually call my Gift From a Generous God, does have one flaw. He chews gum. I hate gum. I hate finding it in the washer and even more hate finding it in the dryer. I hate finding it on the furniture and I hate finding it on our shoes. I really hate finding it in our son's mouth when I know darn well that no-one has given our son a stick of gum, but that instead he has found it somewhere.

At least I know that today's gum had only been in my hubby's mouth prior to Andy's; unlike the time in the Moscow airport when we both realized that he was chewing, and we had not given. EWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Happy for you . . .

We've been working on finding something more pleasant to say when someone gets something we want and we get nothing. We've ruled out saying "ME ME ME ME" and "I want one! I want one!" and decided that saying "I'm happy for you," would be nice. Jamie and I have been role-playing this and the kids have been practicing it in silly ways.

This morning, Juliana showed Andy the very cool mini-flashlight that she acquired yesterday during her big day in Seattle. You have to know that for Andy-The-Gizmo-Kid, there is nothing more attractive than an item that has both buttons and lights. With shaking voice he looked at it and said, "I'm happy for you Juliana." Then he burst into tears.

I'm so proud of him! I buried him in hugs and told him what a good boy he was.

In the orphanage they didn't give things to children unless they had one for everyone, or if it was a shared item. The idea of one child having a private possession and the other child not having is a big new concept. We are so pleased that they are accepting it.

Yesterday we went to Children's to see a doctor who said that Juliana was tiny. We are seeing a series of specialists who are all ruling out bad things, so it is rather good that all the doc has to say is that she is very small. We don't want the doc coming into say that she has some really interesting and unusual condition. But still, driving all that way to hear that she is little seems a bit unproductive.

My mom went with us and we redeemed the drive by going to Bellevue. We stopped in to visit my Father-in-law at work who was very pleased to see us. Then we went to the mall and rode the glass elevator up and down and waved at all the giant snowman and gasped at the flying reindeer and visited the LUSH store. We tried very hard to visit Trader Joe's, but after an hour of driving (slow progress due to street-lights being out), we got there only to find them without power and closed. They couldn't sell anything, as neither their tills nor fridges were working, but they did have a little generator going to keep the lights on; they kindly let us in so that Juliana could use the bathroom. At long last, I finally got into a Trader Joe's, I just didn't get to buy anything.

So that is all the news. Part of my long lull in posting was a case of the blues brought on by the return of Holly's cancer. Surgery is on Friday.

Singing Children

If you are familiar with LeapPad's alphabet video, you'll know the tune to these lyrics, slightly modified by Andy and Juliana:

The Mama says Obey.
The Mama says Obey.
Everybody makes a sound.
The Mama says Obey.

The Papa says Obey.
The Papa says Obey.
Everybody makes a sound.
The Papa says Obey.

The Detsky say Okay.
The Detsky say Okay.
Everybody makes a sound.
The Detsky say Okay.

Thanksgiving

Late last month I commented to my sister that I wasn't even sure we could do Thanksgiving as the children were so wild and Andy's hands were so busy touching everything he saw. I imagined a stress-filled day full of jumpy parents and lots of discipline. Wrong again!

We had a lovely dinner at my Mom and Dad's. We ate off of china on a nice tablecloth. The real silverwear and glasses were used. Andy said grace, thanking God for each and every family member. The children used nice table manners. After dinner they played with their cousins (young adults) and enjoyed the crafty project Aunt Christy and Uncle Grape had brought. On the few times we had to remind them of some boundaries (inside voices), they complied. Other than the fact that my brother was away working and I missed him dreadfully, it was a perfect day.

On the way home we dropped by my Aunt and Uncles where we got to see many of my cousins and their children. I thought we would be able to stay only a little while as my children were tired and already over-stimulated. We ended up staying a couple of hours as the children played nicely with their second cousins, obeyed nicely, and were obviously enjoying the visit greatly. At one point Juliana came running over to me to say "I'm happy." She came back to say "fun fun." On the way home Andy thanked me for "horashow egratz with detsky" (good play with children).

While we were there, one of my cousins called his three children to him. They "hurry-hurry-obeyed" (as we call it) and they all put their hands together in the middle of their circle. Andy watched, transfixed. The papa told the children that they would be leaving in ten minutes and reminded them to tidy up and then to say goodbye to their aunts and uncles and grandparents. The children obeyed. Andy was so impressed; he talked about it all the way home. I think he found it reassuring that other familes follow the same pattern of children obeying parents.

The children were also quite impressed that all these new people were also their family. "Bolshoy family" they exclaimed. Yes, they have a huge family including lots of cousins their ages with which to play. We have so much to be thankful for.

Stuck in the Truck

In our backyard sits this old red truck which is off-limits to children because the door handles don't work from the inside. Children who disobey are likely to get stuck in the truck. At first they will not mind this, as it is fun to play with the steering wheel and the knobs and buttons. Of course, after awhile, they will want to get out and cannot. There they will sit until Mom comes and a) catches them red-handed and b) reminds them that their good Papa forbade playing in the truck and c) discusses why they think Papa forbade this ("door no open" the children say) and d) sets the timer where the children can see it as they serve their "naughty chair" time in the truck.

After they were freed we had lunch. Andy said grace and added a line to the usual litany. "Thank you for no more truck."

Oh how I love natural consequences.

Birthday Report

Andy had a great birthday weekend. After birthday lunch and cake and his cool present (kid's digital camera), we headed for town.

We visited MindPort and were very happy that we did not have to leave early (this time) as no one fiddled with the lightswitches nor turned off all the displays.

From there we visted The Fairhaven Toy Garden from whence we had been blessed with gift certificate. They have lovely toys including HABA toys, which are the coolest ever. We've recently received several generous gift-checks which we plan to spend on Christmas gifts at the toy garden. We were absolutely thrilled that our obedient children sweetly asked if they could touch stuff and accepted with grace when we had to say no, though we said yes as often as we could.

We then visited our local independent bookstore and with another blessing of a gift certificate, bought Brown Bear Brown Bear, What do you see? and Annie and the Wild Animals and Olivia. I was super happy that we ran into two of my colleagues and that they could meet the children.

We had dinner out and then home for bubble baths and a Mr. Bean movie and one more round of presents . Each child got a costume thanks to the Old Navy post-Halloween sale. These have become the official television-watching garb. Not that we watch any TV, just videos, and not even many of those, but the children don their official grab on the mere whisper of a hope.

On Sunday we went to church and then to my parent's home for Birthday Brunch with Aunt Christy, Uncle Grape, Uncle Tim, and my Uncle Chuck. He received several nice gifts (books and cupcakes of his very own). We took lots of pictures to share with you until we misplaced the camera. Whoops.

Happy Birthday Andy!

It's a rainy day - Andy loves rain.
Papa is home - Andy love Papa.
We are serving everything with whipping cream on top (Cheerios, juice, etc.) - Andy loves whipping cream.
Later we will have an outing - Andy loves outings.

We love Andy.

and more

Today when I went to pick up Andy, his little face lit up with joy when he saw me. This has never happened before. Usually, when reunited, he looks a bit peeved. I can't tell you how encouraging this is, that he rejoices to see his mama.

Over lunch, we were counting who loves him. We did Mama and Papa and Juliana and the two sets of Grandparents and the Aunt and Uncles (10 thus far) and then moved onto the pets, who are mostly paired. To my utter shock Andy said 12, 14, 16!! Counting by twos? We didn't teach this. All we have taught is the names of numbers, not even the shapes of the written number. Andy: boy genius.

In other news, we received the children's certs of citizenship in the mail this week, so know I can apply for social security cards and then passports and then, at last, make the trip to IKEA! My nearest IKEA is in Canada, just north of us.

Andy says Grace

Dee HeveEE Father,

Thank you SOOO much.

Aunt Christy,

Amen

Okay, so I'm going to have to enunciate better, especially the In Christ's Name (Aunt Christy) part.

We made it to church again today. The teacher for their group usually alternates every week, so we were surprised to find the nice lady from last week there today. She came in just in case our kids were there, so that they would have continuity. Isn't that sweet?

To answer a few questions from the Remarks Box:

• BTDT is Been There Done That.
• I think having two will increase our hiberation period, as they each only get half of me, so to speak, so it will take twice as long.
  
• We took a phone cord, but didn't need it. The phone jack at the Markuel was just like the ones at home. The thing we really needed, and D&L kindly brought for us, was a power strip, so that we could plug in our one outlet adaptor and then plug in our many necessary things (camera battery charger, computer, modem, hot curlers for court-day etc.).

Sticks and Nettles

We live on five acres shaped like a long skinny chocolate bar. On the back acres are trees and a meadow. This portion adjoins all the neighbors' trees and meadows. No one lives back there, but someone (we are still trying to figure out who) comes through all the parcels now-and-then with a brush hog. A brush hog, for you city-folk, is the Papa of all Lawn Mowers and easily cuts blackberries, shrubs and small trees. The brush hog path makes for a lovely walking trail that covers several acres, including a cedar grove full of mossy logs to walk on and slip off of, mushrooms to whack, birds to spot, and many secret nooks.

Today we took the children, the dogs, and our one adventuresome cat (the other kitty was doing her nails) on an outing to the back acres. We learned the joys and cautions of whacking branches with a stick, what nettles look like, and why one should pay close attention when Mama and Papa are warning one about nettles.

Yesterday we bought Juliana her first own dolly. She chose a soft pink newborn and it has been very fun to watch her coo and cuddle with it. Also yesterday, Andy climbed (with my help) his first tree. I boosted him up once and then set him to it. He was not able to get back in by himself, though he tried hard. He has good leg muscles, but no upper body strength. I am hoping to keep him trying the tree on a daily basis until he makes it.

We skipped naps yesterday and put them to bed a bit early and they awoke a bit late. It is nice to have this option, though I don't think I want to try it two days in a row.

The children are asleep and I have to choose between napping, showering, and blogging. Bye.

may I brag a bit?

We had a potluck at our place tonight with the other AIA couples here and Andy and Juliana did great. They did not go beserk and Andy complied with a quick time-in with Mom and they looked after the visiting toddlers and all was well. We are very proud parents tonight.

don't forget a potty seat

Since Andy and Juliana are 6 and 5, I never really thought about potty seats, until I realized that -- though age 5 -- she is the size of a 3 year old and she's likely to fall in! Amazon.com to the rescue.