Legs

A couple of autumns ago, Jamie greeted me at the front door saying, "I had to rescue a little puppy." I think, "Puppy! Cute! Furry! Cuddly!" Then I noticed the smell, the rotten garbage smell.

"What's that smell?"
"The puppy."

He had brought home a puppy nigh unto death, full of parasites and scabies (the stench) and with completely round legs from malnutrition.

Because the scabies commanded so much of our attention (quarantine from other house-pets, stinky-stinky etc.), I had rather forgotten about the funky legs until Juliana zeroed in on them while looking at old pictures.

How are Laurel's legs now? Perfectly straight.


Why is this relevant? Laurel is not the only one who joined our family with bent leg bones due to early childhood lack of nutrition.

Edited to add that scabies are not always stinky, but in Laurel's case, they had done so much damage that her skin had started to die, hence the stench.

Sneaky Mom

Andy is trying to learn to read and he is very impatient with the phonics. La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu: he could not care less. He gives up easily and is not interested. Juliana, on the other hand, is very keen on reading.

Sneaky and devious mom that I am, I told them they could watch VeggieTales as soon as Juliana learns five flashcards. Andy is in there industriously teaching her La-Le-Li-Lo-Lu. I am doing my work and snickering up my sleeve.

Hard Questions

She sings all the time. This morning's song:

I love my mama.
Yes I do.
I love my mama.
Yes I do.

My Ruskie mama.
No I eat.
My Ruskie mama.
No I eat.

I love my mama.
Eat. Eat. Eat.
I love my mama.
Eat. Eat. Eat.

My mama loves me.
Eat. Eat. Eat.
My mama loves me.
Eat. Eat. Eat.

My Ruskie mama . . .

The song stops. A small voice asks, "Mama, did Ruskie Mama love me?"
"Yes."
"Why no I eat?"

Ketchup and Peanut Butter have saved my sanity.

Because the discipline in the children’s previous life was so harsh, it has been quite a challenge to come up with strategies that are motivating to the children.

Little chair?
No sweat.

Swat?
No biggie.

Loss of toys?
Oh well.

Spoonful of ketchup?
Oh NO! Anything but that!

About two weeks ago Andy appeared to have decided that there was nothing that we would throw at him that he could not handle, and all sorts of mischief ensued. The most startling was persistent and dramatic chewing-with-mouth-wide open. He never used to do this and was now doing it all the time. We would remind him and he would say okay and then do it again the very next bite. It was looking deliberate. Then ketchup occurred to me.

“Andy, would you like a spoonful of ketchup?”
“No, thank you! Ick!”
“Next time I see your food as you chew, I’ll bring you a spoonful.”
(mouth snaps shut for chewing and remains closed)

For Juliana, peanut butter does the same job. I have a friend who uses vinegar.

This morning I saw Andy lift his arm to hit his sister and then stop.
“Andy, what helped you remember to not hit?”
“I don’t want ketchup.”

So, Andy and I were driving in to see my Dad the other day and we were talking about the ketchup and how good it has been at helping Andy remember. He wanted to know if Grandpa knew about the ketchup. Yes. Andy did not like this. He fussed about it quite a bit.

“I’m angry you told Grandpa my secrets.” he said.
“Are you angry that I told him about the ketchup? Or that I told him that you had not-nice behavior?”
“Not-nice behavior.”
“Are you afraid that Grandpa won’t like you if he knows about your not-nice behavior?”
“Yes.”

I pull the car over.

“Andy, this is what is so cool about having a family. Families can know all your nice parts and all your not nice parts and still love you. Grandpa knows all my nice parts and all my not nice parts and he still loves me. That’s what families do. It’s really lovely.”
“Oh.”
“That’s what Jesus does too. He loves us even though we have nice parts and not nice parts. He’s part of our family.”
“Oh”
“Did you know that families love that way?”
“No”
“So Grandpa can know about your good days and about your bad days and he just loves you big time.”
(quiet)
“What do you think?”
“It’s okay to tell Grandpa.”

Kitty Treats

The kids recently told me that when they first got to our house they snuck pieces of kitty food and ate it. They apparently ran to the bathroom to spit it out. In the first few days they didn't see the kitties at all, so the little bowls of food around the house had looked like people-snacks to them. Blech.

Adventures Digest

the very condensed version of our lives

• Jamie came through his medical procedure that I am not allowed to blog about just fine.
• Juliana started her "Gotta Sing, Gotta Dance" class and was the happiest little pink dance-class girl ever.
• Andy and Juliana got to spend the night over the weekend at their cousins. They had a blast and stayed up far too late. I can't scold, as this is exactly what I did with these cousins' mama when we were little girls.
  
• I've joined a Non-Performing Ballet class for grown-ups. This is part of my preemptive mental health plan. Dad's accident + Seasonal Affective Disorder + Jamie's Unmentionable Medical Concern + The Practical Reality of Two New Kids = Risk of Depression, so I am trying to get ahead of it before it gets ahead of me.

a DIY kind of gal

Juliana got tired of waiting for me to trim her bangs, so she did it herself. About a quarter inch long.

Singing Children

If you are familiar with LeapPad's alphabet video, you'll know the tune to these lyrics, slightly modified by Andy and Juliana:

The Mama says Obey.
The Mama says Obey.
Everybody makes a sound.
The Mama says Obey.

The Papa says Obey.
The Papa says Obey.
Everybody makes a sound.
The Papa says Obey.

The Detsky say Okay.
The Detsky say Okay.
Everybody makes a sound.
The Detsky say Okay.

Thanksgiving

Late last month I commented to my sister that I wasn't even sure we could do Thanksgiving as the children were so wild and Andy's hands were so busy touching everything he saw. I imagined a stress-filled day full of jumpy parents and lots of discipline. Wrong again!

We had a lovely dinner at my Mom and Dad's. We ate off of china on a nice tablecloth. The real silverwear and glasses were used. Andy said grace, thanking God for each and every family member. The children used nice table manners. After dinner they played with their cousins (young adults) and enjoyed the crafty project Aunt Christy and Uncle Grape had brought. On the few times we had to remind them of some boundaries (inside voices), they complied. Other than the fact that my brother was away working and I missed him dreadfully, it was a perfect day.

On the way home we dropped by my Aunt and Uncles where we got to see many of my cousins and their children. I thought we would be able to stay only a little while as my children were tired and already over-stimulated. We ended up staying a couple of hours as the children played nicely with their second cousins, obeyed nicely, and were obviously enjoying the visit greatly. At one point Juliana came running over to me to say "I'm happy." She came back to say "fun fun." On the way home Andy thanked me for "horashow egratz with detsky" (good play with children).

While we were there, one of my cousins called his three children to him. They "hurry-hurry-obeyed" (as we call it) and they all put their hands together in the middle of their circle. Andy watched, transfixed. The papa told the children that they would be leaving in ten minutes and reminded them to tidy up and then to say goodbye to their aunts and uncles and grandparents. The children obeyed. Andy was so impressed; he talked about it all the way home. I think he found it reassuring that other familes follow the same pattern of children obeying parents.

The children were also quite impressed that all these new people were also their family. "Bolshoy family" they exclaimed. Yes, they have a huge family including lots of cousins their ages with which to play. We have so much to be thankful for.

Stuck in the Truck

In our backyard sits this old red truck which is off-limits to children because the door handles don't work from the inside. Children who disobey are likely to get stuck in the truck. At first they will not mind this, as it is fun to play with the steering wheel and the knobs and buttons. Of course, after awhile, they will want to get out and cannot. There they will sit until Mom comes and a) catches them red-handed and b) reminds them that their good Papa forbade playing in the truck and c) discusses why they think Papa forbade this ("door no open" the children say) and d) sets the timer where the children can see it as they serve their "naughty chair" time in the truck.

After they were freed we had lunch. Andy said grace and added a line to the usual litany. "Thank you for no more truck."

Oh how I love natural consequences.

more lovin'

We are gaining daily. Now when we get to the part about Babushkas and Dedushkas loving her, she will say "Kapecho" (a tiny bit).

We went to Children's Hospital yesterday; my mom came with us to help with the driving as I am so sleep-deprived due to coughing (yeah Mom!). Anyway, we were able to see the x-rays of her legs. You can actually see the bone starting to grow on the inside of curves. The medical team there is very hopeful that her legs will straighten without surgical intervention. We'll be back down there next month for another check-in. It's a lovely hospital; very patient-friendly with easy parking and pleasant spaces.

Across the street from Children's is a very nice shopping center, the sort that I browse but don't purchase from. Mom and I and Juliana had lunch at a white-table-cloth Italian restaurant. We had a really nice time; Mom and I got to visit and Juliana didn't disturb the other diners while she ate all her lunch, thus qualifying for ice cream. It was really lovely. If you had asked me two months ago if I would be able to take do this, I would have said "Maybe in a year". It's nice to be wrong.

Who loves you?

We are enjoying great progress with Juliana recently. She has started to approach me and ask "Please Mama hug." She backed into my mom the other day for a snuggle. She crawled up onto her napping Papa twice for snuggles. None of these last for long, but we are so pleased that she is initiating. She is also better able to give hugs and snuggles when asked, though they are quite brief as she is clearly mistrustful of affection and love.

But it gets better. I've long been asking "who loves Juliana?" and her answer is always "nyeto (no-one)" Then I go through the long list of family members who love her and ignore her disclaimers. Yesterday it went like this.

Mama: Who loves Juliana?
Juliana: Nyeto
M: Mama loves Juliana.
J: Da (yes), Mama loves Juliana. (!)
M: Papa loves Juliana.
J: Da (yes), Papa loves Juliana. (!!)
M: Dedushka loves Juliana.
J: Nyet (No).
and so on . . .

but she has gone from zero to two! That is a lot!

This morning Jamie and the children are at church. I spent the night in the chair trying to sleep. When I lie down I start choking and coughing. I stayed home to rest. Jamie was looking like he wanted to rest too, but the children begged, yes begged, to go to Jesu Christo-dom (church). How could he say no?

Sticks and Nettles

We live on five acres shaped like a long skinny chocolate bar. On the back acres are trees and a meadow. This portion adjoins all the neighbors' trees and meadows. No one lives back there, but someone (we are still trying to figure out who) comes through all the parcels now-and-then with a brush hog. A brush hog, for you city-folk, is the Papa of all Lawn Mowers and easily cuts blackberries, shrubs and small trees. The brush hog path makes for a lovely walking trail that covers several acres, including a cedar grove full of mossy logs to walk on and slip off of, mushrooms to whack, birds to spot, and many secret nooks.

Today we took the children, the dogs, and our one adventuresome cat (the other kitty was doing her nails) on an outing to the back acres. We learned the joys and cautions of whacking branches with a stick, what nettles look like, and why one should pay close attention when Mama and Papa are warning one about nettles.

Yesterday we bought Juliana her first own dolly. She chose a soft pink newborn and it has been very fun to watch her coo and cuddle with it. Also yesterday, Andy climbed (with my help) his first tree. I boosted him up once and then set him to it. He was not able to get back in by himself, though he tried hard. He has good leg muscles, but no upper body strength. I am hoping to keep him trying the tree on a daily basis until he makes it.

We skipped naps yesterday and put them to bed a bit early and they awoke a bit late. It is nice to have this option, though I don't think I want to try it two days in a row.

The children are asleep and I have to choose between napping, showering, and blogging. Bye.

may I brag a bit?

We had a potluck at our place tonight with the other AIA couples here and Andy and Juliana did great. They did not go beserk and Andy complied with a quick time-in with Mom and they looked after the visiting toddlers and all was well. We are very proud parents tonight.

don't forget a potty seat

Since Andy and Juliana are 6 and 5, I never really thought about potty seats, until I realized that -- though age 5 -- she is the size of a 3 year old and she's likely to fall in! Amazon.com to the rescue.

Random bits of news

1. Juliana grew! We got updated height and weight last night and I was so sad as Julina still weighed the same as she did in January (we got May numbers yesterday). This morning I took a closer look and she grew 2.75 inches between January and May. This is very exciting. She still weighed 30 pounds, but she was taller - 3 feet tall in May. Andy gained 1 kilo and 4 centimeters between November and May, so he was 44 lbs and 47 inches tall in May, when he was last measured.

2. The kids are and have been at summer camp all summer. !!!!!! That's all we know. It is rather surreal to get email telling you where your kids are, and it is somewhere you had never even thought about.

3. Our really important HAS-TO-BE-THERE-BY-AUGUST-FIRST-OR-ELSE documents were delivered to Khabarovsk last night. Remember the road trip on July 12th? Same documents. Apparently they have been touring the world the long way between leaving in Olympia on the 12th and arriving in Khab on the 27th.

4. Yesterday was, btw, our 19-months pregnant marker.

5. One of the bloggy families I follow -- Damon and Kim -- just brought home two little boys who are only a month older than Juliana. You may enjoy reading her informative posts.

6. We bought a Mommy-Car. Yup. It's the newest car I have ever owned, only ten years old, 1996 Green Subaru Legacy. I'm very happy with it.

7. Art for the day, courtesy of art.com:

Little Green Birthday Shoes

These just may be the cutest shoes I have ever seen. Can you see that the center of the flowers on the toes sparkles? Juliana will never want to take them off!

Mom and I spent all day Tuesday doing errands and shopping. We got my "returns" basket emptied, found gifts for the staff in Russia, and loaded up on socks and undies and other practical kid things (and a few not so practical).

Happy Birthday Juliana!

Today our lovely daughter turns five. I don't know if there will be a party or a treat or a gift. I like to think there would be, but there probably isn't. When we gave the children little goodie bags they were awe-struck. Not with the goodie bags, but with the concept of individual ownership. I don't think that these are children accustomed to receiving gifts.

---

Our birthday wishes for you Juliana are so big, and so small.

• We wish for you a speedy court date and a favorable ruling (this it the big part).


• We wish for you a bit of birdsong, as you loved the chirp my camera made.


• We wish for you a touch-up on your nailpolish, as the polish we put on has surely faded and you so clearly loved having your nails sparkle pinkly at you.


• We wish for you three square meals a day, tender care-givers, and the opportunity to learn and to laugh.


• We wish you were here.

---

My birthday is in late August. I'm sure you know what I am wishing for.

The Children are Told

Andy had just been told that we were his parents. He took this to mean that we were his biological parents and threw himself into our arms. Month and months later we sorted this out.

Andy looks at the little photo book that we prepared for each child.

Visit #2

Just got in from Visit number two and are elated. We officially signed papers for the Russian version of Child Protective Services today for Andy; we sign the ones for court tomorrow morning at 9:00. Our guide/translator is at the Ministry of Education right now, asking for official permission for us to meet Lil'Girl. We expect to sign her legal papers tomorrow.

Today we met with the doctor who gave us all the medical history and some of the personal history. She seemed very fond of both kids. Then we met with the director who gave us the personal history and showed us the artifacts she had. Andy has some pictures, a baptismal record, a baptismal cross, a hand-print. We will get all these for him when we are legally his parents.

We took them each a book of pictures of family and us and the furbabies and our home. They LOVED them. They looked at them over and over again, finding Jamie and I each and every time and showing us ourselves. We had a picture of the four of us taken, which I will print and mail back and the caregivers can add to the book.

We are sure that Andy has noticed that we spent time today with only he and Lil'Girl. We get to tell them tomorrow. Today we played tea party and Lil'Girl served Mama and then Papa. She was play-acting, so she thought.

The heart-break is that the whole time we played, the five other children watched from the next room. They sought out eye contact and smiled plaintively. Just breaks our hearts. Think of going to the humane society and having to walk past all the ones you can't help, and then magnify that a zillion-fold.

We prepared gift bags for all the children, puppets, bubbles, chocolate, matchbox cars, etc. which we got to give them right before lunch. They were told they could not open them until after lunch, which they complied with without a fuss. They were just thrilled to hold the bags and peer through the cello-wrap and guess at the contents.

Andy is a Tigger. He is go go go and do do do. He is very bright. Both of them wanted all of both of our attention all the time.

In other news, we got a nice phone call from Father Joe, the local Catholic priest, last night. He invited us to the Friday night concert of their Easter Season Music fest, held this coming weekend as most of the musicians were over extended during the long Easter Holy weeks, as they participate in both the Catholic and the Orthodox. Fr. Joe dropped off a map and directions in Russia, as well as an estimate of a fair price for the taxi (negotiated before you get in the car). I hope we can go.

Off to lunch and donation shopping. I hope to post again later, though I won't have any fresh news. You can post questions and I can answer them, as long as they are not about personal kid details.

So very happy to see Greg and Christy and Jenny made it to blog-land. :)

Love,

Suzanne